


it really doesn't hurt

by TinyPotato02



Category: One Piece
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Bad At Tagging, Light Angst, Post-Marineford, Post-Time Skip, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Harm, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, but hecc, can be read a zolu i guess, not really what i intended, read it as a ship if you want, um
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-18 00:43:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21502489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TinyPotato02/pseuds/TinyPotato02
Summary: Luffy puts himself through more pain after the events at Marineford. Fortunately, Rayleigh is there to stop him. But when Luffy is reunited with his beloved crew, a new wave of emotions hits him. Will they be able to put an end to Luffy's unhealthy coping.
Relationships: Monkey D. Luffy & Roronoa Zoro
Kudos: 90





	it really doesn't hurt

**Author's Note:**

> Is it bad that I really enjoy fanfictions that address the fact that if he were a real person, Luffy would probably have ptsd?
> 
> because I do

It was months after the events at Marineford. Luffy had been relentlessly training with Rayleigh who was an ever comforting presence when the rubber man thought back to his brother’s death. Rayleigh was a kind reminder of the ship that he would be reunited with his crew on. Unfortunately, despite the reminder, the young captain couldn’t help the low moments of his training when it never really felt worth it.

On one of these particular occasions, Luffy found himself hidden away. Out of sight from the large animals stalking him and his mentor. He was crying, tremors wrecking his body. The trauma weighing upon him as his emotions brutally attacked him.

He wasn’t completely in control of his body when he began tearing his fingers through his black hair. Luffy pulled and pulled, but the pain wasn’t distracting enough. He choked and untangled his fingers from his tousled hair.

Hands finding their way into tight fists, Luffy slammed them on the ground. He grit his teeth and peered down at the red crescents in his palms from his nails. Vision blurred and the drip of blood became a glove of red on his hands. 

A yelp escaped his throat and he fell back. Jagged nails angrily scraped over his palms and wrist. A few minutes of the thoughtless abuse to his hands cause even more lines of crimson appear. The cuts were oozing the dreaded red liquid, there was no escape...

Until a calloused hand stilled him. Luffy winced and looked up. His eyes met the kind eyes of Rayleigh. There was no pity on his face, only a reassuring smile. Luffy inhaled and wiped his eyes. The rubber boy gave his mentor a halfhearted quirk of his lips. Rayleigh patted his back and helped him stand. Not a word was spoken and not a word was needed. 

Luffy offered a determined expression and straightened up fully. It was worth it.

-

When Luffy was reunited with his crew he was more than ecstatic. He was proud of his crew for sticking with him and for the strength they gather over the two years. Though, despite his happiness he was struck with the overwhelming feeling of failure. He had failed his crew two years ago, just like he had failed his brother. It was his fault the Strawhats were scattered across the Grandline...

Luffy kept up a smile nonetheless and demanded that they have a party in honor of their reunion. With a severe lack of disagreement, Sanji went about cooking a meal using the recipes he had gathered from his torturous experience.

The party was going great. Half of the Strawhats were drunk and the few that weren’t completely wasted were a bit tipsy. Sanji kept preparing and serving dishes and it only took seconds for the food to disappear.

While Luffy was happy and glad to finally eat Sanji’s delicious food again, he couldn’t help the guilt pressing against him. He was quiet as he shoved his arms under the table and began scratching them. Lightly at first, but rapidly growing in speed and pressure. Eventually Robin touched his shoulder and Luffy jerked slightly.

“Are you all right?” The archeologist asked.

Luffy didn’t hesitate with a smile, “I’m great!”

He stopped scratching his arms, but soon the desire for some distracting pain became overwhelming. He stood abruptly, gaining Sanji, Robin, and Zoro’s attention. Luffy quickly excused himself to the bathroom and bolted to the door.

On his walk to the bathroom he began itching his already irritated skin with renewed vigor. Swiftly, Luffy entered the bathroom and locked the door behind him. Immediately he slid to the floor and let his nails tear at his rubber arm.

Beads of blood were dripping down the rubber man’s arm. He showed his arm no mercy and tears bubbled up and poured down his flushed cheeks. His breath hitched, but his jagged movements kept on. The raven haired boy couldn’t hear the rough knock on the door. But despite his deafness to that, he did hear the voice that followed.

“Luffy?” 

Angry, but not unkind...

“I’m coming in.”

The word’s settled in Luffy’s mind and he immediately abandoned his spot on the floor only to collapse right back down in front of the door. As soon as his weight rested against the door it pushed against him. Luffy held his breath as he fought it.

“What the—Luffy! Move,” The voice—that Luffy now recognized as his loyal swordsman—snapped.

Luffy shook his head, though Zoro couldn’t see him.

The disgruntled swordsman pressed harder, but Luffy was persistent.

“Fine, have it your way,” Zoro uttered under his breath, “I’m knocking down the door.”

The rubber man only had a moment of preparation before the swordsman slammed his body against the bathroom door. It nearly hit the thin boy, but he dodged and landed roughly on his hands.

He cried out and crumpled to the floor. Luffy heard his swordsman whisper his name, shock lacing his tone. The rubber man felt guilty that Zoro had to see him in such a state. He only felt worse when a rough hand touched his back and caused him to curled inwards.

“Luffy, you’re bleeding,” Zoro murmured trying to unfurl his captain, but Luffy was as stubborn as ever.

Zoro huffed and grabbed Luffy’s wrists causing Luffy to stretch out in agony. Zoro used his leg to keep Luffy’s leg straight and carefully pulled him up into his arms. The captain adjusted to this new position by hiding his face in Zoro’s kimono and sobbing.

With a concerned sigh, Zoro ruffled Luffy’s black hair. The green haired man carefully tilted Luffy’s head upwards. His narrow eyes met Luffy’s wide, bloodshot eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Zoro asked, pulling his hand back.

Luffy trembled, trying to come up with a reasonable response. He failed which brought more tears to his eyes.

Zoro sighed and held Luffy closer. As his captain relaxed, Zoro gently twisted Luffy’s arm so he could see it. He showed no visible anger at scrapes and scratches he saw, but he was fuming on the inside. Not at Luffy, he couldn’t ever stay mad at the lovable dope. But he was angry at whatever caused Luffy to resort to such horrible coping mechanisms.

Luffy leaned closer, “I’m sorry Zoro... I didn’t want to do it again, I just.. it’s a lot to handle.”

Zoro’s eyes widened, again? He hadn’t been there for his captain previously? The swordsman shook his head and looked down at Luffy.

“What do you mean by that?”

Luffy shrunk, “I dunno, I just...” He hesitated, “I don’t wanna fail the crew again, I don’t want to lose someone again.”

Zoro put the pieces together and tightened the hug, “You won’t lose us, we’ve gotten stronger too, you know.”

“I know,” Luffy murmured, guilt lacing his voice.

Zoro stood Luffy up carefully and looked him in the eye, “I’m sorry that you had to go through what you did, and that we weren’t there for you. I should’ve been stronger on Sabaody, but you have to understand that we don’t see that as a failure. In the long run, it really did help us.”

“But it wasn’t your fault either,” Luffy retorted, gaining confidence, “You may not have told me, but I know you were still severely injured from Thriller Bark.”

The swordsman sighed, “Fine, it wasn’t my fault, and it wasn’t yours. Now, Sanji’s still cooking and I doubt me and Robin can eat anymore, are you up to the challenge?

Luffy beamed, “Yep!”

“Let’s bandage up those scratches though,” Zoro returned the smile and walked with Luffy out of the bathroom.

With a final sniff left over from the tears, Luffy nodded, “Yosh!”

**Author's Note:**

> If you can't tell from my other fanfics, I mostly focus on Zoro, Luffy, and Sanji and mostly write hurt/comfort and such, but I wanna get a little wild, if you happen to write a review on this, let me know if there's a different character from One Piece I could focus on, or any ideas... i dunno
> 
> ALSO I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN ABOUT MY MULTICHAPTER STORIES, i just start writing other things if I get stuck on one.
> 
> Speaking of, I have another op fic that has a couple chapters already, so, maybe expect that? hhhhhhhhh procrastination!


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